This week's mystery injuries

1. Torn tendon in in the first two phalanges of my left index finger. Too much pointing? One-fingered push-up gone wrong? I have no idea.

2. Giant three inch gash on right hip that looks like a knife slash. Brushed up against an extruding nail? Midnight mugging?

3. Three marks on my right shoulder that look like finger marks as if I'd been grabbed from behind.

4. Bruised shins on both legs.

If anyone sees me engaged in somnambulististic Muay Thai matches, let me know. It would explain a lot.