Why I should be supervised at all times

Late last night I was watching a movie (Choke) and sitting on mah feet, which is what I do, when the house phone rang. As I unfolded myself to answer it, I realized my left foot had fallen asleep. Seeing as how I don't have the sense God gave a chicken, I stepped down on my foot anyway, or at least, I tried to but the damn fool foot bent inward like it was made of rubber and I ended up stepping on my ankle bone and thought "Oh fuck, that's going to hurt once I get feeling back." And you know what? It did, it totally did. So now it's swollen and painful to walk on but not broken and I would like once, just ONCE, to be able to attribute an injury to some outside force and not my own mental shortcomings and complete lack of grace and ambulatory skill. Just once.