Nellie the elephant packed her trunk and said good-bye to the circus, off she went with a trumpety trump

I hate you Landlord, I really do. I don't know why you interpret "plumbing leak" as "tear down interior bathroom wall that leads to outside and claim no one can come fix it until Saturday." In what land does that seem reasonable, seriously? I told you I wouldn't be home until after 7 and you were out by 6:45. Well-played. You are apparently in denial about what I do for a living. I had to spend the night at a friend's house just so I could avoid the peepery of the building next door. I cannot breathe for the hate of you.