I am watching "Chocolate," the best movie ever. It has Hotness, Hotness nudity, Hotness "speaking" English, "no wire" stunts, a female lead who is extremely skilled in Muay Thai and ladyboy gangsters.

P.S. And a spasmodic, possibly epileptic, breakdancing kickboxer who looks like DJ Lance Rock that she fights to flamenco music.

P.P.S. I don't even mind that somehow the villain has a two-story dojo hidden in his apartment where 100 students come pouring into. Here's Hotness using all those sword skills he learned in his 4,000 years of taiga dramas. Bliss.